Thursday, May 19, 2005

Spring 2005

It recently occurred to me that I have not updated this blog since January of this year!!

Shame, shame, shame

It is I who regularly condemns so many occupants of the information super highway rest stops and roadside diners for their lack of daily digests and up to the minute news spots. I have become so preoccupied with my own self importance, or the perception thereof that I have neglected the one area of my internet terrain that is actually created for my own musings and diatribes. So as of today, May 19th, 2005, I am committed to updating this blog at least once a week. For someone who professes to be an author, activist, and social commentator I don't think that is too much to ask. Why haven't I been here lately??

Honestly, Indiana Black Pride has monopolized all of my free time and what little time I do find for complete self absorption is usually spent sleeping or trying to get to sleep. I don't know why it is that when pressed about how things are going I always seem to take the pessimistic road as opposed to the more optimistic trail. Perhaps the answer to that question could help to explain a myriad of other issues in my world as well. I certainly don't ever want to come off as arrogant or self important. There goes that phrase again, SELF IMPORTANT. I heard it used recently on a television program where someone was talking about the rising popularity of blocs, just like this one. IT seems that in this day and age these blog spots have become very popular and starting to be used as a more reliable and speedy source of news and information, ofwhich we have all become like crack fiends addicted to. Introspectively, I must admit that perhaps I do think quite lofty of my viewpoints and criticisms. Just admitting this and saying it out loud helps me to humble myself and search for the true motives.

Recently, I have been engaged in quite a bit of media exposure. The Indianapolis Recorder did an article entitled, Black, Gay, and Christian in which I was quoted concerning my religion and my sexuality. As a result of that article, along with the controversial ruling of a recent city county council decision that denied gays and lesbians protection from unjust firing in Indiana because of their orientation, I was also featured in an article in the Indianapolis Star. In March I was asked to speak at a statewide rally at the Indiana Statehouse and testify during a legislative hearing concerning an amendment that would ban gay marriage in the State of Indiana.

I say all of that to say that I have been feeling pretty self important. Foolishly so, because the only reason I have had any modicum of the proverbial 15 minutes of fame is because there is not another Black gay man in Indianapolis that is willing to stand up loudly and proclaim what I believe to be the truth: African American gays and lesbians are disproportionately effected by homophobia in the black community and racism in general, but specifically as it is projected by the gay community. AND I AM MAD ABOUT IT!

As we have been working to produce Indian's first black gay pride event it has become painfully obvious to me that there just aren't many black gays and lesbians here in Indy that are willing to work hard for something that truly matters. We have a club here called THE TEN and every Saturday night there are upwards of 500 black gay men and women spending big dollars to be up in that hole in the wall. We go there faithfully. Have been since I was 22 years old. But trying to get folks out to a black pride planning meeting is like trying to get a queen out of a Marine barracks......................Impossible! So there are days when I get frustrated and honestly there have been periods over the last few weeks when I have wanted to throw the towel in and say to hell with a black gay pride. Then I get some rest and talk to some friends around the world who are doing this same work and I feel re-energized.

I realize and I try to share this with my board members every now and then, we are doing work that will make a difference years from now. I will be dead in my grave before the black church as a whole begins to think about an inclusive theology and the gay community really begins to address its issues of racism, separtism, and exclusion. But if one young black boy or girl can be encouraged to embrace his sexuality, spirituality, and race instead of seeing any one or all of them as badges of shame, self-hate, and second class citizenship than our living has not been in vain!!

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

1 Corinthians 6:9 (New International Version)


Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders

12:17 PM  
Blogger Robert S. Ferguson said...

See this is what gets me the hottest under the collar. be a man about your stuff. Jesus us tells us to proudly proclaim the gospel. So if you are going to bash me with the bible be adult enough to leave you email address so that we can have a healthy exchange. I could go on and on about how this person does not truly understand this passage, but to post it here would be like preaching to a wall

12:20 PM  
Blogger ben said...

I agree, posting a slam without saying who you are pretty much makes your point moot.

Just, wanted to stop in and say I admire what you're trying to represent here, I'm not gay or bi, but I am a worship leader and minister in southern california and we are a community that welcomes all who seek to know God; regardless of who they are, what they've done or who they've slept with.
Good on you.
Keep on blogging in the free world.
ben

12:43 PM  

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